Monday, August 19, 2013

I'm hungry...

This is part of the conversation that Mom and I had immediately after her first lunch.

Mom:  I'm hungry.  I haven't eaten all day.  Are you trying to starve me?
Me:  You just ate 10 minutes ago. 
Mom:  I did NOT! 
Me:  I gave you rice, chicken, cheese and tomatoes.
Mom:  You did NOT!
Me:  Are you hungry?
Mom:  Are you deaf?
Me:  Apparently I'm stupid, too.
Mom:  Apparently.  I have not eaten all day.

I waited a few minutes.

Mom:  I'm hungry.  Are you trying to starve me again?
Me:  Do you want me to fix you something?
Mom:  Why?  So you can poison me? No, thank you.
Me: Okay.
Mom:  I'm hungry.  I haven't eaten today.
Me:  Yes, you have.

I made her a turkey and cheese sandwich with some applesauce.

Me:  Mom?  Here's your food.
Mom:  I don't want that. I'm not hungry.
Me:  You need to sit down and eat it.
Mom:  I will NOT!
Me:  You will sit down and eat what you asked for.
Mom:  I will NOT!
Me:  Okay.  You don't have to eat it.  Just sit and drink your water.
Mom (as she tries to hand me her plate):  That man made this for you.  Where do you want me to put it?
Me:  Oh, you have no idea where I'd like you to put it.
Mom:  What?
Me:  I said to sit down and eat it.
Mom:  This crap?  I don't want this crap.
Me:  Then just sit and look at it.
Mom:  I'm hungry.  I haven't eaten today.  I've told you that 4 times and you don't care! 
Mom:  I've asked you four times what I should do with this!
Me:  Four times?
Mom: Yes. And I can prove it.
Me:  How can you prove it.
Mom:  That Easter guy came and took the tag off of these socks and he said so.
Me:  You win.

During the "discussion" she ate half the sandwich and all of the applesauce.

I'll take the wins where I can find them.  Now, I just have to find where she stashed the other half of the sandwich.

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