Sunday, February 24, 2013

The love in my eyes...

I recently read a Facebook post that had the poster asking how other caretakers deal with the paranoia, aggression and violence that some patients have towards their caretakers and people in general.  I found some of the responses interesting.

One of the responders said that you should treat them like a toddler.  Just hold them and love them.  That was similar to the one who said that you should turn away, count to 10, turn around and let them see the love shining in your eyes.

But, my favorite was, "I really dont believe in pills.but sit her down and have a heart to heart with her. Sometimes elder people just need someone to listen to them or to blow of some steam with no questions asked." 
I am curious to find out if this is their reality.  Do these simplistic approaches actually work for them?  And, if they do, Hallelujah!!  It actually comforts me to think that not every family dealing with an Alzheimer's member is going through this Hell. 

But, beyond the fact that I find these responses interesting, I find them absurd.  When someone is looking at me with intentions to harm me, I am not foolhardy enough to hope they see the love in my eyes. I am in defense mode. And, she will not see love in my eyes because there is no love left for my Mom to see.  It died.  Frustration, exhaustion and anger killed the love a long time ago.  Yes, that is harsh.  But, it is honest.  I loved my mom, but she's been gone for many years.  I will continue to honor that love by caring for the person who usurped her body.

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