Friday, February 8, 2013

I am not alone...

"God sends people into our lives just when we need them, to say the right word, His word, just when we need it" - W.A. Criswell

Last night Mom continued with the night wanderings and delusions.  She started wandering and crying at about 3 am.  I took her back to her room and tried to calm her enough to allow my girls to keep sleeping.  I was not successful at either task.  In all fairness to Mom, I cannot even imagine waking to a world that is unknown and forgotten.  It must be terrifying.  But the hours long litany of complaints and accusations took their toll on my sleep deprived mind. 

I found myself with tears on my face, fingers in my ears, quietly singing songs to drown out her voice. I started with the song that I always sang to my kids when they were scared "Jesus loves me this I know..."  As the tears turned to sobs, the songs turned to prayers.  I was begging forgiveness and for help for my troubled family.  I knew that, without help, we couldn't continue on with this task that has become a 24 hours a day responsibility.

I gave up.  I was not going to calm her.  I felt so alone. As I opened the door, there was the first answer to my pleas.  Both of my girls were waiting in the hallway offering support and to help deal with Mom. Kylie was able to get Mom to take a pill that quieted her.  I found out later that as I drifted off to an exhausted sleep, Kylie kept herself awake to make sure that Mom was going to remain quiet.  My girls are my rock.

Later in the morning, Mom and I were sitting and waiting for her name to be called into the Lab for a blood test.  As I sat there in this secluded hallway, I heard "Good morning, Nancy."  Mom's doctor had come looking for us.  She spoke to me yesterday on the phone and only knew that we would be there sometime this morning.  But, she took time out of her day and came looking for us.  She came over, looked me in the eye and said "You haven't been sleeping."  After I explained the situation, she wrote a different prescription for a sleeping pill and made some suggestions to help find what works for Mom.  And for my family.  A second answer to my prayers.  

Looking back on my life, I can identify moments when God sent people into my life at the exact moment that I needed them.  Some have stayed a lifetime and some came, taught me a lesson and left in a moment of time.  I believe that this doctor was sent to me as an answer to my prayers.  And her appearance in that hallway was His way of telling me that He heard me and that I am not alone.  Today has been a good day.


  1. and praise! I love you, Nancy! Thanking God for your girls!

  2. That was supposed to say HUGS and praise!

  3. My heart goes out to you. "Been there, done that" as they say. Unfortunately, in those later years, drugs are the only thing that really works to get them to sleep somewhat peacefully. Do what you need to do to get some rest. It's VITAL for you to stay well...and sane!