Some days go by like so many that have
gone before, filled with simple frustrations, annoyances, arguments,
and occasionally some laughter. For the most part, the days are
often the same.
But, some days, oh, some days, the
disease is especially cruel. She wakes up agitated and rarely will
anything calm her. Not her medications, not distractions, not food,
not trips out of the house, and definitely not kindness.
Today is one of the agitated days. She
started it by getting up while it was still dark and sitting at the
foot of my bed and talking. By talking, I mean non-stop barking of
orders, “Get up. NOW!” “Put your shoes on and take me to
breakfast. You promised!” “I said get up! NOW!”
It progressed to her poking my feet to
get my attention. Ear plugs dimmed the demands. There isn't a lot
that blocks someone poking your feet while you're trying to sleep.
It's now 3 o'clock in the afternoon and
just the sound of her voice is killing me. I know that sounds like a
huge exaggeration, but that is what it feels like right now. I'm
straight lining Pandora into my ears. And while that blocks out the
grating of her voice, it does increase her pantomiming around the
edge of my laptop screen. Katie refuses to leave the room. I'm not
sure what she is more worried about, me or her grandmother's safety
if I lose it completely.
Days like this always have me mentally
singing that line from an old John Denver song, “Some days are
diamonds, some days are stone.” Today is definitely stone.
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