Sunday, September 28, 2014

Definitely stone...

Some days go by like so many that have gone before, filled with simple frustrations, annoyances, arguments, and occasionally some laughter. For the most part, the days are often the same.

But, some days, oh, some days, the disease is especially cruel. She wakes up agitated and rarely will anything calm her. Not her medications, not distractions, not food, not trips out of the house, and definitely not kindness.

Today is one of the agitated days. She started it by getting up while it was still dark and sitting at the foot of my bed and talking. By talking, I mean non-stop barking of orders, “Get up. NOW!” “Put your shoes on and take me to breakfast. You promised!” “I said get up! NOW!”

It progressed to her poking my feet to get my attention. Ear plugs dimmed the demands. There isn't a lot that blocks someone poking your feet while you're trying to sleep.

It's now 3 o'clock in the afternoon and just the sound of her voice is killing me. I know that sounds like a huge exaggeration, but that is what it feels like right now. I'm straight lining Pandora into my ears. And while that blocks out the grating of her voice, it does increase her pantomiming around the edge of my laptop screen. Katie refuses to leave the room. I'm not sure what she is more worried about, me or her grandmother's safety if I lose it completely.

Days like this always have me mentally singing that line from an old John Denver song, “Some days are diamonds, some days are stone.” Today is definitely stone.

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