Tuesday, January 22, 2013

She looks calm to me...

If you are hoping for one of my rare, positive posts full of sunshine and unicorns, then you might want to come back another day.  Because today was one of the worst experiences I have ever had.

Mom and I were going out to the car to pick up my daughter from work.  But, instead of stopping at the car to get in, she kept walking.  Down the driveway, across the street and away.  I knew following her on foot would be futile because then I would have to find away to get her to come back.  So, here is this woman who walks around the house like she is an old, feeble woman practically trotting down the street trying to make her getaway.

So, I follow her in the car out on to the busy, main road, trying to keep my car between her and the street.so that she doesn't get hit by a car.  Cars are slamming on their brakes and honking at me as I try to coax her into the car.  But the stars were with me as she finally got into the front seat.  Or were they?

I pulled onto a side street to get her buckled up.  It was my first time using the new seat belt guard that I just bought. For the lucky who have never had a need for a seat belt guard ... it is just a piece of plastic that prevents the red release button from being activated.  The guard went on very simply and Mom didn't realize that it was even there.  But, she was immediately very agitated and combative.  Within a mile she was clawing at the seat belt guard trying to get out of the car.  She was convinced that I was "taking her away".  Those are words that have never been said, or even hinted at, so, it was a little surprising and hurtful to me.

By the first red light, she had put the chest portion of the belt over her head and opened the car door into traffic.  I was trying to close the door as she was screaming at me and trying to stop me.  I ended up honking at the car next to me, trying to get the woman's attention to help me get the car door closed.  I couldn't drive with my mom's legs hanging out of the car.  But, I couldn't stay still or she would have found a way to get out.  People were honking and staring with eyes of shock.  I was praying that someone would call the police and they would take my mom away.  Praying that someone, anyone, would help me.

Somehow, I got her back into the car.  The seat belt was still engaged.  Now, I just had 4 more miles of stop and go traffic to make it through.  Let me just say that it was a ride straight out of Hell.  I have never had an experience like that and I don't want to have one again.  Driving while holding the passenger door shut is not safe.  Nor is it the smart thing to do.  But, to be honest, I am not sure what the smart thing would have been.

We arrived to pick up my daughter.  My poor daughter walked out to a mother who was sobbing and a grandmother who was still trying to get out of the car.

And this entire time I am thinking of the doctor, who just today, told us that she couldn't prescribe anything to calm my mother... and that "she looks calm to me".  Really?  And how about me?  Do I look calm as I am navigating traffic while leaning over restraining a grown woman and holding a car door shut.  Do I look calm, Doctor? 

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