After a lot of discussing, soul-searching, phone call making, second guessing and praying, we have decided against the board and care for Mom... at least at this time. I tried so hard to believe that it was the best thing and, bottom line, I don't think it is. I have felt an over-whelming sense of doom and apprehension since Friday when we toured the facility. I feel like I was about to buy a used car, not because it was the right used car but because I am in desperate need of a car. And that any car would do at this point. But, this isn't an used car. This is a person. And, I need to be sure. While I liked the Board and Care, this feeling comes more from the fact that in order for the owner to help us with the financial arrangements, I would have to sign a contract saying that I will not take Mom out of his facility. I respect the man's reasons for the requirement, but I cannot believe that is what is best for Mom.
We are exploring other options. And, while I know that placing Mom in a home is ultimately for the best, we will not be doing it until we find the right home and the right conditions. I would never sign a life-time commitment contract for a car and I won't do it with something as precious as my mother's life.