Wednesday, August 29, 2012

The wall...

Yesterday I shared that my brother saved the day with Mom.  What I didn't emphasize enough was that he also saved my sanity.  I had basically slammed into a wall with the expected results... it hurt.  And, just like Wiley Coyote trying to get dinner, I was doing the only thing that I knew how to do... I was backing up and slamming into it again.    Each slam hurt more than the last, until my body and my mind just couldn't take it any longer. 

But a funny thing happened when he offered and gave help... he moved the wall away from me just a bit.  I'm still running for it but now I have time to think about what will happen if I allow myself to slam into it.  And the time is just enough that I am able to think of things that I would rather do than slam into it.  This has allowed me to become more like the person that I believe I am.  And, in doing so, Mom has become calmer.  And a calm Mom nudges that wall just a little farther away from me.   She is still combative and argumentative.  The difference is that I'm not. 

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