Yesterday a friend shared a blog about a woman who was so stressed by the demands of today's fast paced life, that she became a yeller. She would scream at her small children for their simplest mistakes. Everyday things that all kids do.
For many years, I was a fairly calm person. When my kids were small and they damaged or broke something, my answer was, "It is just a thing. Things can be replaced. My kids can't." I was by no means a Saint. I had my lapses of patience. But, for the most part, I was a fairly calm Mom.
Fast forward a few years and I am now an emotional wreck and a yeller. I yell about the slightest mistake. I go ballistic over an eye roll. I cry for hours over a stranger's cruel words. In short, I am falling apart. My patience has reached its point of exhaustion. I feel like that old story of the guy who lives alone and takes out his frustrations by kicking his dog every night when he gets home. When someone asked him why he did it, he said that he doesn't have anyone else who cares. As wrong as it is, we take out our frustrations on the ones who love and count on us most.
So, what is the answer? I think the answer is choice. I need to remind myself that my children are more important than my frustrations. And I need to try to stop feeling like I am failing every one who is counting on me. I need to remember that I am who I choose to be. And if I am not happy with that person, then I am the only one who can change it. As the woman in the blog said, I need to choose a peaceful response. I need to stop kicking the dog.