Saturday, February 15, 2014
A question of faith...
Where do you go when you are feeling alone and like you are ready to implode? Where do you turn when you need a friendly word or a hug? What do you do when you feel unworthy of any kind word or gesture? How do you find forgiveness for your actions and reactions to a situation that is no one's fault? How do you accept that there is nothing that you can do to stop the torment? What do you say to someone whose faith is being tested every moment of every day?
If anyone asked me any one of those questions, my answer would be God. It would be the answer for every one of the questions. So, why is it so hard for me to make Him my answer?
I know He blesses me each and every day. I know it. But, I feel as if my life is split into two separate parts... my real life and the Alzheimer's life. I feel like all of my blessings are outside of Alzheimer's world. I have nothing in Alzheimer's world. And until I can resolve the two, I am destined to feel alone, unworthy, unforgiven, helpless and questioning my own faith.