Monday, November 26, 2012

A different set of memories...

I have always felt sadness when I hear of people who do nothing more than tolerate the month of December.  They find no joy in the season and definitely no peace.  For whatever reasons, the Christmas season has become something they get through rather than embrace. But these years as Mom's caretaker have given me a new perspective on how hard the season can be for many.  

I have always loved the season.  I cherish the opportunity to celebrate the birth of my Savior.  And I love the traditions that the holiday entails, regardless of their origins.  Christmas holds many happy and precious memories for me.  And, I suppose that is what makes this situation difficult for me.  I know that my daughters won't have the memories of Christmas that I so want to give them. We have been forced to adapt our celebrations of joy to small windows of time and compromises.  I want them to remember the bustle of preparations, the anticipation of the holiday and the joy of Christ's birth.  I understand that I am leaving them with a different set of memories, I just wish they could be happier.


  1. Although I haven't had the same experiences in the caregiver capacity, I do understand about wanting to give your children different memories than what is done. I know how my childhood was as far as the magic of the season, and how it was so special. I loved the hustle and bustle of all of the preparations, the meal together. Though we didn't grow up really understanding the significance of the season, I know now. It's hard to want to give your children that same sense of wonder and awe that they weren't there to experience so they don't understand how their experience is any different, but I do. I remember. All they know is what is. With Amanda it's always hard in that we have to tailor our celebrations to her anxiety level and ability to handle the celebration, which really makes me sad. It's hard to go all out the way I want to while waiting for an outburst that inevitably puts a damper on things. I don't know if any of this makes any sense to you or if you can relate it to Mom. I love you, N, and am praying for you and wish you a peace and joy-filled Christmas celebrating our Savior's birth!

  2. It does make sense. And the part that really resonates is that they don't understand that their experience is different. And maybe, just maybe, that can be okay. It is different but it doesn't have to be bad. Thanks, Shelly. I love you too.