Thursday, November 15, 2012

I am thankful...

I went 3 weeks without any outside help with Mom. I had reached the point that it was harder to deal with the hurt and disappointment of my brothers' lack of help than it was to take care of Mom.  I had a letter written to both of my brothers saying that I was done being a part of the family.  I would rather do it alone than to have my needs and the needs of my daughters be rejected and forgotten. 

I went through quite a mental dilemma as to whether or not I should even take her to my brother for the first time in 3 weeks.  But my desperate need to recharge outweighed my delivering of the letters.  I was not in the best mental condition to deal with the confrontation that would result..  So, I took Mom and did my normal Tuesday tasks. 

When my brother dropped Mom off late in the afternoon he and I talked.  Still not being mentally ready for the confrontation, I allowed the conversation to remain on a superficial level.  And the strangest thing happened.  He looked at me and said, "Nancy, I know that you feel abandoned by us. But, I can only speak for me. What can I do to make this situation better for you and the girls?"  And, with that, a weight was lifted off of my shoulders.

That was 2 days ago and I have had more true help in that time than I have had in years.  And I am thankful for it. But more importantly, I am thankful that I still have my family.  I am not alone.


  1. I'm so happy to hear you are getting the help you need. I think getting through abandonment is always hard but when you feel it from your family too it really puts you into a dark place. Really happy to read this!

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words and your understanding. Thank you!

  2. Dealing with the huge burden that you are DOES make a person feel abandoned and alone....and that is such a horrible feeling. I hope you get the real support that you need soon...and I can absolutely relate to the feeling of how separating from family seems a more human option that being rejected and unsupported. That doesn't change the need for family...I'm glad that someone's stepping up...even if it's not everything that you need.