Thursday, November 14, 2013

I did not want to be right...

I knew this day was coming, but it's not a gloating, "I told you so" type of knowing.  It's more of a "what's next" type of knowing. explain. 

Mom has been angrier than usual lately.  Everything from taking a pill (I'm trying to kill her) to taking a shower (she already did that) is grounds for an argument.  And, sometimes, a physical argument.  Mom had to take a shower this morning.  Without, going into too much detail, she had to take one.  After, asking her politely, trying to bribe her, coax her, trick her, threaten her, I ended up forcing her to take the darn thing.  It turned into a mini brawl that included arm holds and choking (towards me, not her).  Once I got her in, she showered with minimal assistance. 

She calmed down while she ate her breakfast.  But, she was itching to go.  Just as soon as the van arrived to pick her up, she became argumentative and nasty again.  I had to get her seated because she was so angry. Her day was okay at the day care, until she had to ride the van again.  The driver called and said that they were running late because Mom "threw a fit".  By the time they arrived here, Mom refused to get off the van. 

She just fights everything. If you want her to go, she wants to stay.  If she's hungry and you give her food, she doesn't want it and refuses to eat it.  I am sure that it's her final attempt to control a life that has become chaotic and uncontrollable.

The van driver asked me what steps were they allowed to take to calm Mom.  As I'm concerned about their safety, I told her that, yes, they could restrain Mom. I felt okay with my answer, because I trust these people.  Nothing in the facility is done behind closed doors.  The clients are always in full view of anyone and everyone.  Just from my personal observation, these people have so much more compassion and patience than I do.  And, they are aware that restraint is the final choice for Mom.  But, what a choice.

I will be trying to contact Mom's memory doctor tomorrow.  Between the lack of sleep (mine) and the aggression, something needs to be done. I just hope that, at this point, there is something that can be done. I shudder and cry at the possibility that the day care will be forced to turn her away. 

Yes, I knew this day was coming, I just didn't want to be right. 

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