Sunday, July 7, 2013

Cruise control and flat tires...

This disease is so fickle.  Mom can go from not knowing her own name to calling me by name in the blink of an eye.  We have been going through each day on a virtual cruise control.  We sort of steer the day on the familiar route. Then we cruise along at the same safe speed that has been navigating the turns and speed-bumps with relatively little discomfort to the occupants of the car.  And then we get a flat tire and we have to pull over and regroup.

Well, today was definitely a day of flat tires and regrouping.  After several months of relative passiveness, Mom chose today to revert to her attempts of escaping from a moving car.  I had started to think the seat belt locks had become unnecessary.  My dad would have said, "That's what you get for thinking."  Mom and I were heading home from Walmart.  It was hot, she was agitated, I was frustrated, I forgot to put the lock on her belt.  Between her complaints of having to get home, having to go into a store and pay them, being late to work, etc., I heard the tell tale click of the seat belt being released.  I told her that she needed to put her belt back on.  She then attempted to open her door.  Thank goodness for "Grandma locks" on the back doors.  I again told her to put her belt on.  She slid over to the other door and tried to open it.  And, being my mother's child. I yelled, "You put your seat belt on right now young lady!  Do not make me pull this car over!"  Guess what?  It worked.  I learned from the best.  

We made it home safely.  But, I knew it wasn't over when she got out of the car.  She headed for the street and said, "I'll see you later."  I tricked her into the house and began the Grandma proofing that I haven't used in months.  The kitchen door closed and blocked.  The living room sofa blocking the front door with my big butt in the middle of it.  We've been home about 90 minutes.  She's had lunch and a snack with her requisite negative observations, "What is this white crap?  I haven't eaten in 2 days. I'm hungry."  I've settled in for a long afternoon with my Pandora, ear phones and laptop.  She is unhappy with the arrangement.  But, she's safe and I'm saving my remaining sanity.  You take the wins where you can.

I'm guessing this retro-phase won't last for long.  Tomorrow we will probably be back on cruise control.  She will likely complain and talk about leaving with no real attempts to do so.  But, I have to wonder if AAA includes virtual flat tire assistance in my membership.

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