Saturday, June 23, 2012

Rabbit ears...

This journey, that is Alzheimer's, can be fascinating. During the times in which I am able to step back and look at it objectively, I am amazed at the randomness of the disease. How does it pick and choose the details of my mother's personality and memory that it allows to show through? And, how does it decide when it will allow it?

My mom has always had a dry, sarcastic wit (a surprising trait in this family, right?). The other day when we got to my brother's for "his turn" Mom asked to use the bathroom.
Brother: Sure. It's where it always is.
Mom: *snottily* I wasn't sure if I was allowed to use it.
Brother: I think everyone who is full of sh** should use it.
Mom: Then why aren't you in there?

A clear thought process and wit.  Why is that allowed through but she can't see that her clothes are dirty or inappropriate?  How does she always remember where her bedroom is but doesn't remember that she lives here? Why does it allow her to forget who I am but know that she loves me?

I imagine her brain as that antenna we used to have on top of the television back in the day. You remember those. You had to twist and turn those rabbit ears to get your favorite show to come into focus. Maybe if Mom stands just right, turns around and hops on one foot while holding a piece of tinfoil this will all go away. Probably not, but, now that I think about it, that routine only worked until what you really wanted to see came back on the screen.


  1. thats a pretty good way of looking at it..alot of people would just put them in a home and forget they are there. it takes someone special to beable to care for a sick loved one and when the going gets tough just keep on going and dont look back..there is a silver lining to every cloud! one day you will look back on all this and laugh at her comments. you are teaching your children compassion for the sick and elderly without even realizing it and one day they will see how special their mom is and if anything ever happens to you (god forbid) hopefully they will do exactly what you are doing for your her unconditionally :)

  2. I love the analogy. Thank you for your willingness to share your journey with us, I know it can't be easy.