Mom is still in the hospital. And we are still searching for a home to place her long term. The decision to place her was much easier than the reality. From her having an insurance that is not accepted by most facilities, to government agencies failing to do their jobs (which prevents me from changing her insurance), finding a bed for her anywhere within a 2 hour driving distance has been a difficult task.
Yesterday, was a series of highs and lows, mostly lows. They found a place for her in a facility that I do not like. But, the alternative is bringing her home to an ill-equipped, untrained, and desperate person to care for her. For many reasons, in home help is not an option.
Just as I had resolved myself to the non-choice, the insurance case worker called and said that the space for her was no longer available. Add to that the fact that Mom's case worker for Medi-Cal still has not updated the system to reflect that I am Mom's legal representative (after signing the document 3 years ago and a request 3 months ago to correct the oversight) which leaves Mom without a voice. I cannot make any changes to her insurance to make this move easier.
I spoke to a woman yesterday who has been caring for her Alzheimer's mother for 13 years. She needed Social Security to help her resolve something at her mother's bank, only to be told that they could only speak to her mother. They did not recognize the legal documents that she has that has made her the voice of her mother for the past 13 years. The woman had to get a lawyer involved to resolve the issue.
How many families are forced to go through this? How many loved ones are being held hostage by a system that is broken and has no compassion for the very people it is supposed to protect? Being a caregiver is difficult enough without having to jump through never ending hoops to do it.