Thursday, July 19, 2012

Lessons from a dog...

I feel like dealing with my Mom's emotions and actions is often just like having a toddler in the house.  She doesn't have the same energy or the curiosity and yearning for knowledge that toddlers have in abundance.  But, she can act as selfishly and impulsively as a 2 year old.  So, it is only natural that I compare the two situations.

When my kids were in their toddler years they really didn't go through the "terrible twos".  For the most part, I got back from them exactly what I gave.  If I was having a tense, keyed up day, they were too.  If I had an abundance of patience and time to devote to them, the day sailed by smoothly.  I am in no way implying that there weren't days that were bad.  Or that other toddlers do not go through that horribly trying time.  But for me, my attitude set the tone of their behavior.  And, just as my attitude set the tone of the household with my kids, I know that a lot of the negativity currently present in this house was coming from me and my reactions to Mom's negativity. 

We have been dog-sitting for the last week.  This dog is a sweetheart.  She liked me from the very first.  But, the second night she heard Mom become very angry and yell at me and I responded in kind.  For almost 2 days afterwards the dog would growl every time she saw me.  Apparently, before her owner rescued her as a puppy, she had been abused.  She does not like harsh, angry sounds.  So, for 2 days, I worked at re-earning her trust by keeping things calm and low keyed.  Thankfully, the dog trusts me again.

Just as important as the dog's contentment is that our household is much calmer.  Yes, Mom still gets angry and says mean things when she doesn't get her way. Just like a 2 year old.  The difference is in the way that I am responding to her. I am not letting her push the buttons that she (or a 2 year old) likes to push.  And just like when my girls were small, I still have my moments that I am frazzled and frustrated.  But they happen less frequently.  And, we are all calmer.

Who would have thought that a dog could teach this old girl new tricks?

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