Wednesday, September 2, 2015

You can pretend you did not see me...

It's been a long time since I've been here.  I've thought about stopping by but wasn't sure what to say. It feels a little bit like running into an old friend at the grocery store.  You wonder whether to speak or just pretend you didn't notice her.  You were good friends so you decide to go ahead and say something and then instantly regret it.  Too much time has passed.  You both talk about the kids, the weather, anything that isn't too personal. You agree to catch up soon, knowing you won't do it.

This blog was the best of friends to me.  It listened, without judgement, no matter what I said or when I said it.  It was always here.  But, it was about my journey through Alzheimer's.  And, that journey took a detour that isn't as all-consuming as it once was.  Mom is still in the nursing facility, still under hospice care.  I had a meeting last week with the hospice personnel and her nursing staff.  It was more of an update on her condition (same) and trying to find something that will comfort her.  I wish I knew the answer to that question.  I've wondered that for most of my life.

So, here I am trying to share the journey.  But, now it is just about me. It all seems too personal. This blog, like the friend in the grocery store, just feels awkward. I should stop by and catch you all up to date. But, I think next time I might just pass by without stopping. Or maybe I'll ask you about the weather.

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