Most days, I am able to get out of bed with a somewhat positive attitude intact. Not all, but most. It lasts right up until the point that I just can't take another argument or word of negativity from Mom.
Today, however, I woke up weepy and sad. Then I took a 10 question little test about depression. The questions themselves made me sad. The answers made me cry. It was sort of like balancing your checkbook when you're broke. You already know you're broke but seeing it in black and white just makes it crystal clear. You can't fool yourself into thinking it is better than it is. The test said that it couldn't diagnose whether I am depressed, only a doctor can do that. But, 10 questions, 8 answered with a yes. Whether I'm balancing my checkbook or taking this test about depression, I can't argue with the math.