Forward

Welcome. I want to give a quick backstory of the words you are about to read. Some are heartbreaking. Others are funny in their absurdity. Most of all, it is my honest and unfiltered journey through the evil thief that is Alzheimer’s. 

My mother had the disease long before she was diagnosed. For most of us who have dealt with it, we know there can be a gap in the time between seeing symptoms and the time it takes to be diagnosed. We can excuse the lapses in memories, or losing car keys. We tell ourselves that we have all forgotten things. Then the little things become a little more obvious, but we still think it’s just mom or dad getting older. 

I thought the same thing. Then Mom couldn’t find her way home from the store she’s been going to for fifty years. It was a half a mile away. Then she quit her job of 15 years because the work confused her. She forgot names of people she had known for years. Little things. Then they got bigger. She took her once a day meds several times a day. She forgot to eat. The stove was left on.

I took her to the doctor. They did “the remember these three items, draw a clock, list as many animals as possible in 30 seconds’ test. She passed. Nothing to see here. 

Then she ended up in a city an hour away and didn’t know why or how to get home. She took my 7 year old to 7Eleven and didn’t know where she was. A kind woman called me at work and said, “I have your daughter.” 

I took her back to the doctor. They said it was prescription interactions. They changed her medicines. I played along until I couldn’t.

I rented out my house and we, my 9 year old and 4 year old daughters, moved in with her. I was a single mom and continued to work. She was still functioning and “normal”. She picked up the girls from school. She cooked. Things were okay. Until they weren’t. By the time my oldest was 12, she was the “grandma sitter” until I got home from work. My seven year old kept Grandma entertained while I did my mom duties, neither knowing they were watching each other. 

With all of the things that were now happening, they diagnosed Alzheimer’s by default. I was relieved. There was a name. There were treatments. And there was my innocence, not knowing what was waiting for us all. 

All of this to say, it was not a quick journey. I read a lot of books and articles to help me understand. The experiences were much gentler, and were resolved much more quickly. While the stories were valid, and I had compassion for the pain experienced, they did not help me. So, I started writing down my experiences, fourteen years after the first symptoms appeared. 

The following is the journal I started to make me feel just a little more in control. Just a little. I began sharing my entries with my friends. Those entries became this book. 

I welcome you to the good, the bad, and the totally absurd.