Sundowner Syndrome...

It is now the time of day that I have come to dread. It is late afternoon/early evening.  It is the time that this disease turns my mother into the person that I don't like.  Harsh?  Probably.  But, it is also very true.  Everyday at dinnertime she becomes very short-tempered and frustrates easily.  She seems to come alive and becomes a nosy, nasty person.  She has an opinion on everything and everyone.  And she is mean.  I find myself cooking less and less because she has a lot of difficulty not being the center of my attention.  I feel like I have another toddler in my family.  And, just like a toddler, the more distracted I become the more disruptive she becomes.  But, teaching a toddler lessons was much easier.  It might take a few times but a child eventually learns the lesson and modifies the behavior. 

So, how do we handle it?  I'd like to say that we find ways around it.  And, sometimes we actually do.  Some nights she folds grocery bags into neat, little squares. Mom has always had a fascination with coins and for a while having her sort coins was a distraction that worked.  Now, however, she gets confused about what she was supposed to be doing and the agitation amplifies.  So, most evenings I just accept that our times as a family will be tumultuous.  My girls try to take some of the anger and aggression that is aimed at me.  And, it is with shame that I admit that sometimes I let them.

I am finding it extremely interesting to find names for experiences we are having.  In this case, it is the the Sundowner Syndrome.  This is the definition from Wiktionary:

Noun

sundowner syndrome (uncountable)

1. (medicine, psychology, psychiatry) A state of agitation, confusion, or delirium, especially in elderly patients suffering from Alzheimer's disease or other forms of dementia, which begins daily at nightfall and which is alleviated by daylight.

Basically, it means that a person's Alzeimer's symptoms become amplified each evening as the sun goes down.  They don't know the definitive cause but it  could be as simple as the person associating that time of day with a ritual of something that they looked forward to that is long gone.  Such as a spouse coming home or fixing dinner for the kids. Or possibly that the boredom of the day has taken its toll.  I don't have the answer.  But, I sure wish somebody did.