Thank you, Sargeant Rivera...

Well, Operation Be A Kinder, Gentler Caregiver has been going for awhile now.  Overall, I'd give my self a solid B.  I've relaxed a lot and continue to try and see her as the victim.  She hasn't changed and I didn't expect her to.  She's still agitated and angry much of the time.  When I was in the Army I had a supervisor that gave some good advice.  He told us that when something hurts us or makes us angry that we should think of it like a hot ember landing on our arm and we should "just brush it off" before it burns us too severely.

So, after a week of non-stop brushing, I lost it.  I fixed Mom a plate of dinner... the exact same thing that we were all having.  It was so hot today that we sat outside on the front porch to eat.  As I sat down, she looked at my plate, that looked exactly like her plate, and she said, "Why is yours always bigger and better than mine?"  And I lost it.  I took my plate of food and scraped it onto hers and said, "There!  Now yours is bigger and better!" 

And she ate my dinner.