I have to be honest, each time a
Facebook friend posts a quote about negativity or a status about cleaning up their list of friends
and removing the negativity, I am surprised that I made the cut. I
feel as if all I do is complain and dwell on everything negative.
Each day I try to pull myself up and
find a small portion of my sanity and my optimism. So many times, I
say nothing rather than gripe or complain. But, I can only hold it
in so long before I burst and the negativity comes spewing out of my
mouth like a possessed woman with Tourette Syndrome.
As I sit here typing,
feet up, Mom is sitting across from me. Each time she
sees my feet move she yells, “OUCH! ” She then complains that I am
hurting her... each and every time that I move. The problem is that we
are on two separate couches and I am eight feet away from touching
her. This is typical. I am wrong more often than I'm not. And that
wears on me.
Then it hits me, I need to complain. It is the way that I relieve stress. This is not a normal situation where happiness is a choice. This, with all of its anger and frustration, is my reality.
I will continue griping and moaning. And I will continue sharing the positives when they happen. But, if I don't make the next cut? I understand. I truly do. Just don't be surprised if I blog about it.
I take great comfort in wearing a t-shirt under my scrub top that reads, "You have mistaken me for someone who cares". In an as much as I'd love to flash the next patient who has a petty complaint I simply give a nod and reread my t-shirt to myself. Cheap non-pharmaceutical therapy.
ReplyDeleteVent to your heart's content Nancy, then find a t-shirt for those days your too p.o. to speak.
You will ALWAYS make the cut ♥. I love you, Narby. Gripe away. It will relieve some stress.
ReplyDelete