I went 3 weeks without any outside help with Mom. I had reached the point that it was harder to deal with the hurt and disappointment of my brothers' lack of help than it was to take care of Mom. I had a letter written to both of my brothers saying that I was done being a part of the family. I would rather do it alone than to have my needs and the needs of my daughters be rejected and forgotten.
I went through quite a mental dilemma as to whether or not I should even take her to my brother for the first time in 3 weeks. But my desperate need to recharge outweighed my delivering of the letters. I was not in the best mental condition to deal with the confrontation that would result.. So, I took Mom and did my normal Tuesday tasks.
When my brother dropped Mom off late in the afternoon he and I talked. Still not being mentally ready for the confrontation, I allowed the conversation to remain on a superficial level. And the strangest thing happened. He looked at me and said, "Nancy, I know that you feel abandoned by us. But, I can only speak for me. What can I do to make this situation better for you and the girls?" And, with that, a weight was lifted off of my shoulders.
That was 2 days ago and I have had more true help in that time than I have had in years. And I am thankful for it. But more importantly, I am thankful that I still have my family. I am not alone.
I'm so happy to hear you are getting the help you need. I think getting through abandonment is always hard but when you feel it from your family too it really puts you into a dark place. Really happy to read this!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your kind words and your understanding. Thank you!
DeleteDealing with the huge burden that you are DOES make a person feel abandoned and alone....and that is such a horrible feeling. I hope you get the real support that you need soon...and I can absolutely relate to the feeling of how separating from family seems a more human option that being rejected and unsupported. That doesn't change the need for family...I'm glad that someone's stepping up...even if it's not everything that you need.
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