Let right win...

It has been an emotional and stressful couple of weeks.  Here is an update on Mom's condition:

Mom is doing well as far as her physical health is concerned.  She has recovered from the pneumonia.  She is understandably weak and has been in a skilled nursing facility for several days.  The original goal was for her to stay only long enough to get her strength back and then come home.   Unfortunately, she is about an hour away and I don't get to go to see her every day. 

After seeing her at the home yesterday, the goal has changed as I have realized that I am just not qualified to give her the kind of care that she will be needing soon.  Additionally, Medicare rules being what they are, we might not have the opportunity to place her in a long term facility again.  So, we are trying to find a permanent home for her where her needs and comfort can be met.  

This was not a decision made quickly or without a lot of thought.  I believe it is the best choice for her overall comfort and care.  I have made comments and observations that the woman I have taken care of for all of these years is not my mother.  It is a horrible disease destroying her body and her mind with very slow, very sure steps.  But, the bottom line is that disease ravaged person is still my mom.  Regardless of how I feel about the impact of the disease, I want my mom to be safe and comfortable.  I think this choice will help make that happen. 

Finally, I would be less than honest if I said that part of the decision is for my and my family's well-being.  We have survived this disease but the cost has been enormous.  I have lost a sibling, my financial stability and my children's childhoods... and sometimes even my own sanity. 

I hope and pray that this decision works out.  There are still a lot of hoops to jump through and red tape to be cut.  But, I'm a firm believer in what is right will win.