This morning was a morning that I said my thanks many times over for the opportunity to send Mom to Day Care. And, I swear I almost kissed the driver when he showed up early.
After years of fighting with Mom over bathing, I had finally found a way to get her into the shower with minimal argument. I simply had to wake her up and tell her that she had to take a shower. If I wait until she is up, she will fight me every time. So, this morning I went in and asked her to get up and take a shower. And the brawl began. I was able to trick her into the bathroom but that was where my luck ran out. She leaned against the wall and refused to budge. I mean refused. I cajoled. I begged. I joked. I reasoned. I tried reverse psychology. I threatened. I bribed. I undressed her. I tried to force her (don't let anyone tell you that a 115 pound 78 year old is weak) Katie came in and tried helping, coaxing, etc. No go. And without going into too many details, I couldn't just let it go.
She stood there wearing nothing but her pants around her ankles (that's as far as I could get them) and told me story upon story of why she couldn't shower... she already showered, she was allergic to water, there was no water, she was a boy and boys don't have to shower, she wasn't actually there, her parents were going to be here soon and they would be mad, she was invisible and I couldn't see her, she was allergic to soap, she didn't have time, she was hungry, she would die if she showered, "he" won't let me, she couldn't get in there as long as I kept hitting her, there was no towel, there were no clothes. Somehow, after 45 minutes of reasons, I got her into the shower and it started all over again... she's getting wet, she was hungry, she used soap yesterday, etc.
On to her breakfast of eggs and toast... she can't eat this because there are no eggs, she can't see the eggs, why can't she have eggs, she's too hungry to eat, she can't eat this because she doesn't like eggs, there's too much here, this toast is nasty, where's her toast, she's hungry, this isn't what she asked for, do I want half, she's not eating this, she's hungry, she hasn't eaten in 3 days, that boy said she didn't have to eat.
I just read back through what I have written. And it sounds like I'm making it up. I'm not. Believe me when I say that when the van pulled up, I jumped up and would have dragged her if she didn't go under her own steam. I cannot imagine (and don't want to remember) what our day would have been like had she been home with me all day. Instead, I will remember to give thanks for the break. And hope that by tonight, she has perfected the invisibility talent.
your one of the strongest women i have ever known..i love you nancy
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