Sweet, little, old lady...

Today has been one of those days that I just question what I am doing here and why do I even try. 

Mom has a non-emergency condition that needs to be seen by a doctor.  It causes her some pain that is manageable with some Tylenol but still needs to be addressed.  She reminds me every chance she gets that I am cruel and inattentive by not taking her to the doctor.  NOW.  She has attempted to walk to the doctor on a Sunday afternoon.  She has threatened me to get me to take me to the doctor. 

Now, my side of the story.  I have tried on several occasions since Sunday to get her to the doctor.  Each time she refuses.  Either she denies she has a problem or refuses (physically and verbally) to go.  Today I had had enough.  Come Hell or high water she was going to see some one.  I took her to Urgent Care because the other appointments had to be cancelled.  I try to help her out of the car.  Nope.  She doesn't need a doctor and she will not go in.  Short of dragging her, I am forced to get back in the car and drive home.

We walk in the house and she starts yelling at me that she needs to see a doctor!!  Yes, Mom, I know you do.  And judging by the aroma in here, apparently, you now need a shower.  What proceeds can best be described as verbal chaos.  Between the two hours of her arguments that she took 3 showers last night and the demands that she be allowed to put the nasty clothes that she is wearing back on... we did not make it to the doctor again today.

All of this has me wondering whether every Alzheimer's patient is this stubborn.  Is it their way of maintaining some semblance of control in their lives?  Is it another type of short circuit in the brain?  Why does asking someone to do something so simple have to be so very hard?

And then it hit me.  This is the woman who drove around on an expired license for 2 and a half years!  Why?  Because she was told that she had to renew it.  That's right someone was telling her she had to have a current license so she refused to renew it.  Stubborn?  You bet. 

So, why am I writing this and showing everyone our tension filled and trivial situations?  Because Alzheimer's is not always to blame for the crap in my life.  It might aggravate it.  And it certainly brings it to a head.  But, it does not turn a stubborn woman into a sweet, little, old lady.