Monday, March 5, 2012

I am...

I am not a hero.  I am not a saint.  I am not amazing.  I am not doing anything that you wouldn't do in this situation.  I am not deserving of your praise. I am doing nothing to earn your respect.  I am not going to Heaven for what I am doing.

I am a daughter who takes care of her Alzheimer's mother.  I am a caretaker.  I am human.  I still lose my temper.  I allow my mother to push all of the old buttons.  I love my mother but I am tired.  And I am lonely.  I resent this disease that takes so much from her.  And from me. And forces my children to be  caretakers.

 But mostly I am ashamed because I just want it to be over.

2 comments:

  1. never be ashamed. If she knew how she was she would want it to be over also.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes, she would. This was her biggest fear.

    ReplyDelete